One doesn't always realize how powerfully the environment can affect our mood, our sense of self, our confidence, especially the subtle energies of the land where we are.
I had a bad week, emotionally speaking, in Loveland. There was no apparent reason for it, we could see the mountains, we were in a park with nice people at a reasonable price, close to resources for whatever we needed, and the weather was considered to be delightful.
And yet, I was depressed, deeply depressed, almost dangerously depressed. I felt like I'd lost my faith, I couldn't feel the Divine anymore. Day after day, anxiety attacks plagued me while I questioned my own strength, my own character, the validity of my self. I slept fitfully, had terrible dreams, and was fearful of everything. I knew it was not me, but part of me was convinced it was me.
Today, moving away from that location, I found myself coming alive again. Boulder was renewing, and even though I was never terribly fond of Denver (although I've only passed through before now), I felt myself being more myself with each bookstore visit.
Now, tonight, on the banks of a rushing stream, I realize that I need to be near running water to feel "right." I have always been sensitive to the energies of "location." The land, the house, this piece of property. It is what makes me able to "read" locations like so-called haunted houses. Now, thinking back to the last few days, Loveland felt to me like the darkness of December, though I cannot exactly explain why.
I'm sure many people have wonderful lives and happy moods in Loveland. But for weird, overly sensitive, writer/artist/creative/psychic types, environment seems to lay the foundation for everything else one wishes to accomplish. And for me, I must remember not to let my self be undermined by the environment. When I am feeling so bad for no apparent reason, I must look to my location and if necessary, change it.
Blessings to you all!