PART I:
The dreams early in the night seem to be dreams that are the
result of processing the day’s events.
Sometimes, even before true sleep, in the alpha state, I begin
dreaming. Elements float into my
mind—objects, images, ideas, faces, in a kind a drift like loose matter in
space, swirling together. Soon they
begin to coalesce and become nascent stories in meaningless snatches. A dinosaur that looks like a wildebeest with
horns that swivel on a plate. Something
about a shoe. An old friend. I see these dreams as a metaphor for the
divine mind. Just as my dreams are
formed by these elements, collecting together, drawn together, so does the
Universe constantly create itself from the swirl, manifesting solid from the nebulous.
It feels like with each successive wave of dreaming, the
dreams become deeper, more meaningful.
It is toward morning that they evolve into full planets of
narrative. Here is where they become
coherent in the way that only dreams do, with specific ideas, feelings, and
intuitions coming clear.
It is here, in this space that some of my most beautiful
writing begins. I will awaken with a
thought, a phrase, a name, or a sentence.
Sadly, they are fleeting and I often fail to capture them in the gravity
of my waking thought, watching helplessly as they drift away.
I’ve been paying more attention to my dreams in recent
years. Impossible things happen in dreams:
I wake to find myself sleeping next to the dream figment of my
ex-husband after a helicopter crash at an airport. Or I have been to the beach where I was in a
beautiful white house with many levels, watching a distant storm. Or I fly to a great mountain by a great sea
to visit with angels.
I am learning some of the language of my dreams. Last night, I dreamed I was back in college—a
new college, and I had to take Spanish every day. But I was also scheduled to take another more
important class at the same time two days a week. My professor was concerned that I would be
able to keep up. I assured him I could,
knowing secretly that if I couldn’t, I would drop the class before it affected
my GPA. The other class (I cannot now
remember what it was, but it felt like an important extracurricular activity)
was more important to ME and took priority over Spanish.
I think there are three kinds of dreams: processing dreams, symbolic dreams and spirit
dreams. Sometimes they overlap or
mingle.
Spirit dreams are deeply powerful and otherworldly. I believe they are the dreams or memories of
leaving our bodies and traveling—to other people or to the spirit realms.
Sometimes we stay in our bodies and others come to us—deceased friends or
relatives, angels, spirit guides. Rarely,
they are predictive, and offer us glimpses into the future. I have had dreams like this since early
childhood, but they do not come often.
In my case, they are usually about places I will go and see. One example is the image of Montana I
experienced as a teenager, thought I did not know it was Montana until many
years later, as we were exiting the Billings airport. The airport sits on a butte and the road
descends into the landscape of Montana—as we drove, the dream flashed back to
me in full detail, only in the dream there were no houses or even an airport,
only this particular place on the earth and I knew that dinosaur bones lay
beneath the surface and that there was ancient magic in the land.
PART II:
Dream memories are elusive.
Like spring ice on a river, the moment you awaken, they begin to quickly
thaw and break into pieces, to be carried away on whatever current that brings
us such things. Sometimes upon
awakening, we must write them down or tell them immediately, so we can cement
them into our memories. Well, more like “lightly
paste” rather than “cement,” because after they are told they are still fragile
and can blow away on the merest wisp of wind.
After writing the above section,
I returned to bed and, of course, to dreaming.
I returned to the dream about college Spanish class. I was in a new school (new for me, old
building). It wasn’t that I had to MISS Spanish class it was that I had
something I had to do that made me LATE to Spanish class.
Then someone pointed out that
there was an elevator that would take me there.
So, after completing my required task (still don’t know what it is), I
got on the elevator. It was very small, like the elevator at the first hotel in
Ecuador, and asked which floor. 22. I pushed the ancient button and the elevator
lurched upward. It did not stop however until it got to the top. When it did stop, the door opened and I was
only part-way into the opening. The
floor was at my shoulder level and I couldn’t climb out. Plus, there was a gap of about a foot between
the elevator and the destination.
The top floor was the library and
I finally got someone’s attention to get some help. But he didn’t actually help me out, just told
me to push the next button down (21) and it should straighten itself out. I did as instructed, a little irritated that
nobody actually helped me get OUT. The
door did not close, so this time, I could see the inner walls of the shaft as
they passed and when it stopped again, it also did not reach the floor, but
lower than the classroom, like at the library.
I also asked again for help, and class was in session. Then Rick, who
must have also been in class, came to help me out. I handed him my books, but made him
wait. I also had some food left from
lunch, three or four drinks, two of which were alcoholic (three!). One was half-finished, so I finished it off,
then drank another, then handed the other two (one was in a margarita glass,
another was a straight glass with red liquid) and the non-alcoholic (probably a
Pepsi) out to him. Then I realized I had
my bedclothes in the elevator with me and I had to remember to bring my bankie,
so I fished around for that for a few seconds, and handed it out to him. Just as I was about to exit the elevator with
Rick’s help, the real Rick came and woke me up.
Before that, I was able to complain to the professor, “How can a
world-class university NOT have a working elevator?” I was indeed leaving the
elevator and so was “rescued” in spite of the fact that I was awakened
prematurely.
Now I have some dream imagery to
work with, so let’s get to work.
To dream that you are ascending in an elevator represents a rise
to status and wealth. You may have risen to a higher level of consciousness and
are looking at the world from an elevated viewpoint.
So far,
so good. Both seem to be true to my
life. But I had difficulties getting
there (true dat!), and in the end, it was only with Rick’s help that I attained
the next to the top floor (is the library symbolic of my “arrival”?). He helped me carry my baggage—my insecurities
represented by the blanket (bankie), the leftover food and the drinks. Please note that none of those things caused
the elevator to malfunction. It was just
an old, cranky elevator. Being stuck in
it is a literal expression of my feeling of being stuck—after all, I have two
master’s degrees in English and still haven’t been able to get the Psycards
picked up by a publisher, or find an agent for my novel, or even find a
decent-paying job in my field! And now I
am “stuck” in Phoenix for another month, although I do think that the Universe
has decided I need the down-time.
To dream that
you are in college indicates that you are going through some social or cultural
changes. You want to expand your knowledge and awareness. It also suggests that
now is a good time for you to experiment and try new things. If you had gone to
college in your past, then also consider your personal experiences and memories
of your college days. However, if you are currently in college, then it may be
a reflection of your current surroundings. Alternatively, the dream suggests
that you will achieve your goals through perseverance and hard work. You may be
going through a period of stress in your life.
Here
is the heart of the matter. I DO want to
go back to college and complete my Ph.D. I want to expand my spiritual
knowledge as well. I like that it
suggests I can achieve this—clearly the dream indicates that I can do so with
Rick’s help, because nobody else is going to, nobody else seems to care (like
the students and even the professor who saw I was stuck but didn’t really help,
except to give me advice.) And it seems
that I am always going through period of stress. When have I ever NOT been going through a
period of stress?
To dream
that you are in a library signifies your search for knowledge and your hunger
for ideas. You may be trying to seek out new meanings to life. You need to
study and evaluate your situation before taking action. If the library is
disorganized, then it suggests that too much information is coming at you at
the same time. You are having difficulty sorting it all out.
To dream that you cannot find a book in the library or that the
book you are looking for is already checked out suggests that a certain aspect
of your self is lacking enrichment or is under developed.
To see a library in your dream symbolizes the knowledge you have
accumulated over the years.
I didn’t quite make it to the library,
although I can see why I would select it as the goal (the top floor). Nobody in the library would help me get out
of the elevator, but they did give advice.
To dream that
you are studying a foreign language suggests that you are having difficulties
expressing your thoughts. You are confronted with some unfamiliar problem that
you do not know how to approach and resolve in your waking life.
Now that you mention it, I am
having difficulties expressing my thoughts.
I have not felt like writing much, nor do I feel terribly inspired these
days. And I don’t know what to do about
it except to wait for it to pass. Still
I worry that I will wait too long and NEVER achieve my goals of writing those
novels. There are so many sitting here
in my heart waiting to be written. Maybe
if I return to school, it will jump-start the writing again?
Intuitively, I am thinking that
the most important part of this dream is the part I have forgotten. The task or meeting or time spent that has
made me late to class was more important than class, yet I cannot remember what
it is. I think it had something to do
with writing, actually. I know that it
was something that was more important to my personal goals than learning
Spanish this semester. After all I have
taken Spanish before and if I have difficulty (like I did with Spanish II), I
can drop the class and retake it later.
This gives me a better understanding of the material and a better grade
as well. I think at one point in my
dream I was telling this to another student.
Yes! I did, it was just before I
took the elevator. The other student, a
woman, was also participating in this mystery activity and she was the one who
told me about the elevator (she had a different class to attend).
So, I entered the elevator and
pushed number 22.
The Master Builder Number 22 denotes our knowledge,
intelligence and mental capacity. Seeing the karmic Master Teacher Number 22
appearing in dreams suggests self-mastery and the knowledge that ‘all things
are possible’.
This confirms that the library on
the 22nd floor signifies my ultimate goal—knowledge and
self-mastery.
So you can see that dreams can be
packed full of multiple symbols. They must
be understood in terms of your own life and experiences, as well as the
understanding of archetypal symbols and what they mean universally.
For myself, I take this dream to
mean that I will go back for that Ph.D. The
only decision to make it which university?
To confirm this, I did an online
reading with a new oracle I have come to trust, the Anubis Oracle.Here is my reading, with the
relevant parts highlighted and comments added:
The
Anubis Oracle: Sacred Purpose
Sacred Purpose Spread for catt
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Your Question:
University of Oregon or Pacifica University?
The Overarching Theme: Expressed through the archetypal
principle of Nut
Nut's card represents the
overarching theme of your sacred purpose, what's presently coming down upon and
through you from the great star nations.
29.
Tree of Life: Bast, Anubis, and Osiris
What are you dying to discover
and/or renew? When this
card appears, it’s time to stop and consider the concept of surrender. Through your ability to find
stillness in a meditative state, you will be able to recognize how in your
everyday journey, you are engaged in this shamanic rite of passage of
surrender, death, renewal, and regeneration. Look for the beauty that is the
inevitable result.(I am correct in
recognizing this time as “down-time.”)
Bast awakens Anubis’s holy longing
with fruits from the sacred tree of life. Anubis hangs in anticipation,
preparing to meet his father in the depths of the waters of the dreaming world.
Osiris awaits Anubis’s surrender into his watery embrace so that renewal and
rebirth can result.
Your Grounding: Expressed through the archetypal principle
of Geb
Geb's card represents what's
grounding and supporting you, the foundation that's holding you on this earth.
8.
Ma'at ~ Truth: Radiance/Balance
Ma’at is giving you the opportunity
to see yourself clearly and love
and accept yourself just as you are .(Including all my “baggage.”)
Take some moments to merge with
Ma’at and feel the adjustment and balance she brings to your heart.
In your outer world, she may be
restoring a greater balance and creating order in the wake of some chaotic
situation that has occurred in your life. Take the time and make the space to let in the order
Ma’at brings. (Our current layover
in Phoenix.)
Ma’at is the eternal divinity who
has created order from chaos since the beginning. She represents cosmic law,
divine order, and justice; she is also the balance for which we strive. Her
symbol is the ostrich feather, which represents truth—cosmic truth, not relative truth.
Ma’at is the powerful balancer and
adjuster who helps us to accept and love the truth about ourselves. "The
light, the dark—no difference." Her brilliant radiance reflects our own
light back to us so that we may truly see who we are and know where our work
lies as we move toward greater wholeness. She is the Regal Mistress who reigns
over the Hall of Mirrors. She sees beyond right and wrong and creates divine
justice in our affairs. All beings serve this radiant one, for she embodies the
rule of cosmic law.
Her very being provides nourishment
for the gods, and the neteru thrive in and through us when we express
Ma’at in our lives. In death, our hearts are weighed against the feather of
Ma’at and must be found to be as light so that we may awaken as Osiris, the
goal of every ancient Egyptian.
Your Becoming: Expressed through the archetypal principle of
Anubis
Anubis' card is what you are walking
into or becoming, and how you are relating to the shaman who is becoming more
conscious within you.
26.
Entering The Mystery: Dove, Nekhbet-Mother-Mut, Nephthys, and Isis
Consider how your current life
situation reflects the actions of the neteru pictured here. Something
new and perhaps surprising is happening in your life, requiring you to take a
chance, or plunge deeply into the unknown. You have all the support and
guidance that you need.
The dove represents the petitioner
who is questing through the Anubis Oracle. The innocent, trusting dove flies to
meet Nekhbet-Mother-Mut. After offering the olive branch to the elder
alchemist, the dove gains permission to enter into the shamanic mysteries of
Egypt. Nephthys and Isis form the sacred archway through which the dove must
pass to go deeper into the heart of Egypt and her mysteries.
Your Offering: Expressed through the archetypal principle of
Ptah
The card of Ptah is about the
sacredness of co-creation and the gifts that you give from the heart—what you
create and offer to the situation you bring to the oracle or to the world as
your sacred purpose.
13.
Osiris ~ Regeneration: Transmutation/Beauty
You have been asked to enter deeply
into the process of transmutation and regeneration. You are being given the
opportunity to experience death of the old consciously and to embrace the
beauty that is possible for each of us to experience as we are reborn into the
next level of our potential.
Regardless of what is happening
around you, take time to
be quiet, and listen for the whispers from Osiris that come from the deepest
recesses of your being. He will speak to you of possibilities,
potential, and beauty. Feel the stirrings of regeneration within you when you
commune with him.
Although Osiris has long been
associated with death and called the Lord of the Underworld, it is more
appropriate to acknowledge him here as the archetypal regenerative principle
that transmutes outworn, deteriorating form into its renewed, shining
manifestation of beauty. Osiris can be found in the primordial, watery deep,
and in the river itself.
He invites us to let go and rest upon his earthy green chest as he wraps his
supportive arms around our bodies and turns us into that which we are in the
process of becoming.
This I take to mean that it is premature to make a
choice. I must continue this restful
journey before I can choose. When the
time comes, I will know, and I will have all the help I need to do so. Carry on.
